Operations
by Shivirani
Summary: To be reupdated periodically. Mysterious adventures of five teenaged boys we all know and love. WARNING: Yaoi in some chapters and Matchmaker series.
1. Operation: Bunnies

Heero blinked, then looked down at the walkie-talkie he'd been given again. Time to check the mission status. Squeezing the 'talk' button, he brought it to his mouth.

"Bunny number one calling bunny number four."

There was a pause, then Quatre's voice, distorted by the electronics, came on. "Yes, bunny number one?"

"Why do we have to use these ridiculous things again? Stop."

Quatre's voice was patient. "Because that's the _plan_, bunny number one. It wouldn't work if we changed it. Stop."

One second later, another burst of fuzz came over the walkie talkie. "Bunny number two calling bunny number four!"

"Yes, bunny number two?"

"Can you get bunny number five to stop glaring at me? It's hard to maintain my cover. Stop."

There was an audible sigh. "Bunny number two, you are posing as a bush. How hard can it be? Stop."

"He's also looking at axes."

"Ah..."

Heero cut in. "Bunny number five, concentrate on mission status. All bunnies, maintain radio silence unless completely necessary. Bunny number one calling bunny number three."

"Listening."

"Are you ready? Stop."

"Yes."

"Good."

"Bunny number five calling bunny number one."

"Bunny number one."

"I don't think it's fair to do this."

"Do you want to back out, bunny number five?" Duo's voice was soft, dangerous.

"No."

"Good! Then let's get on with it!" There was a brief rustling, then the 'bush' began to move across the road, followed quickly by a 'Do not enter' sign. "Bunnies numbers two and five en route!"

"Bunny number four calling all bunnies! Advance on target!"

A traffic light, a bush, a tree, a lamp post, and a sign advanced on the building. The door was whipped open, and they all produced toy guns. "Nobody move!"

The person wearing the Tim Hortons hat raised her hands. The bush walked forward.

"Okay, we want three double chocolate doughnuts, an apple fritter, and a jam doughnut! Oh, and a mocha latte. Make it quick!"

The girl hurrued to package the doughnuts, then handed them over while the latte was made. Finished, she raised her hands again.

"Good." The bush came forward and took the packages. "Bye."

A moment later, the store was empty. Bemused, the cashier shook her head.

"How am I going to explain this to the manager?"


	2. Operation: Food

**Operation: Food**

Heero stopped the car, then turned around and looked at the other Gundam pilots. "You have your lists?" They all nodded, and Duo flashed a grin and a victory sigh, which Heero ignored. "Good. Commence Operation Food." He climbed out of the car, then went in.

After a few minutes, Duo emerged from the skylight, Trowa from the window, and Quatre from the side door. Struggling a little, Wufei crawled out from under the car. The four nodded to each other, then silently advanced on the target.

Heero pulled a shopping cart from the stack near the door. Signalling to the others to split up, he pushed the cart down the centre aisle, occasionally pausing to look at labels.

A while later, Quatre walked by, dropping a packet of curry in the cart. Trowa scaled a shelf a few aisles away and tossed a packet of pasta. Wufei caught it, without loking up, and put it in the cart on his way past, along with a tin of tomatoes.

Duo bounded along, threw a huge bag of sugar in, and shot Heero a huge smile. Heero resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

The next time Wufei came through, he casually put the rice in, then looked, shocked, at the 10-kg bag of sugar. Sighing, he took it out, then continued down the aisle, snatching a package of candy from Duo on the way past. Duo pouted, but once Wufei was out of sight, produced the bag of sugar again and, with a wink, replaced it in the cart. Heero did roll his eyes this time, but hid the bag under the rice and pasta, just so the two didn't continue for the rest of the trip.

Finally, they headed for the check-out. The cashier, who'd been watching with amusement all the while they were shopping, smiled at them. "Are you five together?"

Heero froze. Duo bounced up, grinning. "You could say that…" He immediately began flirting with her, ensuring she'd remember nothing else, while the others escaped to the car with the shopping.

Five minutes later, Duo got in the car, waving a phone number and grinning. Quatre, who'd been sorting through the shopping, gasped.

"We forgot the fruit!"


	3. Operation: Cooking I

**Operation: Cooking I**

They had, eventually, decided to manage without the fruit – much to Duo's disappointment, the others agreed it wouldn't be worth going into the store again. So they went home.

Because, for some mysterious reason, they were in the same safe-house – the only time the pilots are all together in the series is in space, on Peacemillion, and then only for a few days – they had drawn up a schedule. A list of who would do what, missions allowing. Needless to say, all ignored it – after all, it was just an agreement.

That night, according to the schedule, it was Wufei and Trowa's turn to cook – therefore, when time came to make dinner, Heero, Duo, and Quatre went into the kitchen. Mayhem, of course, began instantly.

Heero pulled a pan from one of the various cupboards. Duo looked at him in astonishment. "What are you doing?"

"Making rice," came the prompt reply.

Quatre nodded in agreement. "Rice goes with everything."

Duo folded his arms, sighing. "Well, I dunno about you guys, but I can't remember ever trying rice pizza."

Heero raised an eyebrow, and Quatre looked on enviously. "Pizza?"

"Well, yeah. What else didja expect me ta make, stuffed peacock necks?" Rolling his eyes, Duo began taking ingredients out of the cupboard. "I mean, come on, whaddya think we got the flour for? Certainly aren't about to make bread or anything."

Quatre groaned. "Duo, we had pizza last night."

"So? Nothing wrong with pizza. Hey!" Duo yelled, jumping up in an attempt to retrieve the flour Heero had pulled from his hands. "Give it back!"

"No," Heero replied, voice calm as usual, deftly keeping the flour out of Duo's reach.

Quatre sighed, leaning around them both in an attempt to begin cooking. However, an overenthusiastic jump of Duo's knocked Heero into him, and him into the counter. The flour, knocked out of Heero's hands by the edge of a cupboard, burst.

Hearing the noise, Trowa and Wufei ran in, to see Heero, Duo and Quatre arguing, and the whole kitchen covered in flour. Trowa rolled his eyes. Or rather, one visible eye.

Wufei sighed. "What happened here!" he shouted, trying to make himself heard over the general noise.

There was a brief pause, then all three began talking at once.

"He wouldn't let me-"

"He pushed-"

"He was gonna make pizza!"

Trowa looked impassively at the three pilots, then frowned. "All of you. Living room. Stay."

And so the gundam pilots were disciplined. And the schedule was finally obeyed.


	4. Matchmaker I: The Challenge

**Operation: Matchmaker I: The Challenge**

For the hundred and twenty-third time, Heero looked over at Duo, and sighed.

As soon as he looked away, Duo looked over at Heero for the five hundred and ninety-second time, and sighed.

Quatre, the only other person in the room, resisted the urge to bang his head against the table. Why couldn't they just get on with it? After all, he and Trowa had gotten sorted okay…

As if summoned, Trowa came into the room. "Dinner."

Duo, predictably, ran in, with one last wistful look at Heero. Heero followed. Quatre waited for a while so he could talk to Trowa.

"Trowa, don't you think those two have been acting a little… weird lately?"

Trowa sighed, having heard Quatre's theory many times before. "No, Quatre, I don't think you should try and get them together."

Quatre pouted. "Aww, Trowa…"

Trowa sighed. "You probably couldn't force them together anyway."

"Come on, they're perfect for each other!"

"It's so obvious that Heero's going to marry Relena, though. You don't honestly think those two are going to get together just because you want them to?"

Normally, this long a speech from Trowa would've startled anyone, but Quatre was set on his plan. "Yes. I bet I can get them together."

"Bet you can't."

"Deal."

As Quatre walked into the dining room, Trowa wondered if he'd done the right thing, agreeing to a bet with a determined Quatre.


	5. Operation: Dinner

**A/N:**This is where I start to go off-plot a little. I know that, in the original G/W, Duo seeks Heero's attention, and that's about as far as it goes. However, that would mean pairing Heero with Relena and Duo with Hilde, and while I don't mind the characters, I don't want anyone other than the gundam boys so irreversably in the story. So, in short, Duo tries to get Heero's attention because he loves him, and Heero ignores Duo because it would distract him from his mission, ie rescuing Relena. He has no romantic feelings for Relena in any way, but DOES NOT HATE HER. She may turn up later on, along with more characters that might actually have names, not just phone numbers.

**Operation: Dinner**

Spaghetti and cheese sauce. Quatre looked down at it, and sighed. It would be hell watching Trowa eat this. However, he realized, it would work his way for Duo and Heero. Trowa seemed to have noticed that too, from the look on his face, and wasn't too happy about it, either.

Duo grabbed a huge bowlful of spaghetti, covering it in cheese sauce, then plonked himself down at the table. Heero sat opposite him, and Duo smirked.

Finally, they all had their food, and were sat around the table. Duo, of course, had already begun to eat. Messily.

"Maxwell, don't slurp your food!" Wufei scowled at him from Quatre's other side.

Duo deliberately sucked up the spaghetti in his mouth, then turned to smirk at Wufei. A drop of sauce landed on the tip of Heero's nose, and he blushed.

Wufei, glaring at Duo, threw the remaining sauce in his bowl at Duo's face, hitting him perfectly.

Duo, face dripping in sauce, turned to Heero, a wide grin on his face.

Heero went even redder, and pushed his chair back from the table. "I'm leaving."

The other boys quickly followed, until only Duo was left, frowning, and trying his hardest to think of a way to seduce Heero.


	6. Operation: Chill Out

**Operation: Chill Out**

It was hot. Very hot. Walk-around-in-just-your-underwear hot. Which was exactly what the gundam pilots were doing. This, or course, caused many problems.

Duo yawned, stretching himself out across the lawn. Wufei grumbled, pushing an offending foot off his stomach. "Maxwell!"

Duo turned a tired grin to Wufei. "I can't help it, 'Fei. I'm too hot."

Quatre tried not to giggle, and Heero looked specifically blank. Trowa rolled his eye. Wufei sputtered incoherently, then sighed, deciding it wasn't worth the effort, and settled back to his position on the ground.

A while later, Trowa shifted onto his side, looking at Quatre. "Quat, drinks?"

Stifling a groan, Quatre pushed himself up, then wandered into the house. A while later, he came out with five glasses of lemonade, and handed them around. Duo, out of habit, smiled and winked at Quatre, earning him a blush from Quatre, and a glare and low growl from Trowa. Heero automatically snarled back.

Wufei sighed, shaking his head, and tried to convince himself he'd imagined it. It was going to be a long day…


	7. Operation: Pool

**Operation: Pool**

The gundam pilots were on vacation. Technically, they were infiltrating a hotel, and would have to blow it up later – it was a secret OZ base, after all – but for now, they could relax. And besides, the hotel had a pool.

"Cannonball!" Duo yelled, jumping into the water. Heero shook his head, and Trowa sighed as Quatre leapt in right behind Duo, the two almost colliding in midair. Wufei began an easy dive off the side, only to be distracted by Duo squirting water in his face. He belly-flopped instead, then, once he'd recovered his breath, chased Duo around the pool. Duo laughed, managing to stay just out of arms' reach of him, as all other swimmers hastily deserted the pool. Quatre clung to the side, giggling. Trowa had to jump in and save him from drowning.

A while later, they had settled down in the otherwise empty pool. Heero was on his 30th lap. Wufei had caught and dunked Duo, and was now floating in the water. Trowa and Quatre were having a splash-fight in one corner of the pool, but it didn't involve too much splashing anymore.

And the ties on Duo's swimming trunks had come loose. As was shown when he dived in and lost them. He didn't realize this until Heero had been staring at him for 2 minutes straight, and Wufei ran out of the pool screaming.

Wufei didn't talk to Duo for a few days. Duo didn't notice, too busy avoiding Heero, out of embarrassment. Quatre and Trowa, of course, missed the whole thing.


	8. Operation: Party

**Operation: Party**

It was Quatre's birthday, and, by default, the birthday of the other pilots. After all, none of them had known their parents, apart from Wufei, who hadn't originally celebrated his, so it had been forgotten. Quatre's birthday was, therefore, a general party.

Trwoa was in the kitchen, making the cake. Wufei had gone gift shopping. Quatre was making cookies, supposedly. Duo suspected he was watching Trowa more than the food. Duo and Heero had been told to decorate the living room for the party, which was why Duo was blowing up a balloon while holding a streamer up to Heero, who was standing on the back of a chair. Said chair had only one leg on the floor. He could just reach the ceiling, and was taping the streamer around the room, along with the occasional balloon.

Once the room was almost decorated, a stack of bags came in through the door and nearly bumped into the chair. It wobbled precariously. Duo grabbed for it, while Wufei's voice said "Sorry," from inside the pile. The chair was stabilized, and Wufei shuffled past. Safely away from obstacles, he went into the kitchen.

Quatre came in from the kitchen, to see how Duo and Heero were managing. Looking around, he clapped his hands together. "Good work, guys!"

At the sudden, sharp noise, Heero turned quickly. The chair slid sideways. Knowing he couldn't stop the chair from falling, Duo dropped the balloon and streamer, grabbing Heero instead. Heero landed on top of him, and they ended up lying on the floor, both tangled in the stream, and blushing furiously.

Quatre put his hand over his mouth to stifle a giggle, then left silently.


	9. Operation: World Domination

**Operation: World Domination**

The board was set. The pieces were moving. And this wasn't Lord of the Rings.

"Ukraine attacking Scandinavia."

Quatre pouted. "Why me?"

"You're purple," Duo pointed out. "That's closest to pink."

"Why do I have to be purple, anyway?"

Trowa smiled and hugged Quatre. "Colour doesn't matter."

No, this was not Lord of the Rings.

Heero coughed pointedly, handing Quatre the dice. "Ukraine into Scandinavia."

They both rolled. Quatre sighed, removing the soldier from the board. Heero moved the cannon into Scandinavia. "Scandinavia into Iceland."

The dice rolled right through Trowa's men. Trowa sighed, as Duo reluctantly removed his black soldier. The cannon was quickly exchanged for a red horse and five men.

"Iceland into Great Britain."

Trowa looked up impassively, then took the dice. One red man was removed, then the green man was taken off, too.

"Northern Europe."

Once that was decided, Heero looked sceptically at the purple cannon, then the blue soldier next to it. "Southern Europe." That, too, was easily won. "Argentina into Peru." Another red soldier was lost here, then Heero moved on again. Finally, he took his risk card.

"My turn!" Duo grinned, placing 3 more troops on the board. Heero frowned, angry he'd forgotten that step. "Western US to Eastern US!" he shouted, smirking at Wufei. Scowling, Wufei rolled the dice, beating Duo, then removed the black soldier. Duo glared. "Just for that…" He swept his hand across the board, removing all pieces, and deposited a small black figure of Deathscythe in the middle of the board. "I gundam it! I win!"

"You can't do that, Duo," Quatre pointed out.

Duo pouted. "C'mon, Quat! There's less black troops anyway! That's-"

"Injustice!" Wufei sputtered, only just having got over the shock of the random action.

Duo turned his grinning face to Wufei. "Exactly, Fei-fei!"

Heero frowned, moved the gundam off the board, and re-placed the pieces – except for the gundam, of course, which he put in his pocket (or wherever he keeps his gun), so that Duo didn't start messing about again.

The game ended quite quickly. Heero and Wufei fought over South America for a while, until Heero finally wiped Wufei off the board. After that, it was a short time before Heero achieved his mission, to conquer Europe, South America, and a third continent, namely Australia.

Duo, however, completely failed his mission – to destroy all red troops – as he didn't attack Heero once. Trowa, after conquering North America, couldn't get a foothold in Africa, and while Quatre attacked Duo a few times, he couldn't wipe him out. Wufei, who had to conquer 18 territories, failed, partially due to the mini-war over South America.

They all agreed it was a good game, even though there were no mobile suits in it. To Duo's annoyance, Heero didn't give Deathscythe back for a few days.


	10. Matchmaker II: The Movie

**Operation: Matchmaker II: The Movie**

Quatre put the bowl of popcorn and tray of drinks on the table, then joined Trowa on the sofa, grabbing the remote as he passed Duo. "Ready?" The others nodded, and Quatre started the movie. They were watching Shanghai Knights, admittedly an old movie, but Trowa had seen it before, and said it was funny. Duo immediately claimed the popcorn, leaning back against the centre of the sofa. Because it was a small sofa, Heero was sitting cross-legged on the floor, and Trowa and Quatre were practically in each other's laps – although that wasn't really due to the sofa size.

The movie wore on. Wufei was annoyed at the American's attitude, and muttered the occasional "Injustice". Quatre moved so he was in Trowa's lap, but then Trowa went to the bathroom, and ended up leaning on the edge of the sofa, his arm around Quatre. Quatre leaned back against him.

During the course of the film, even Wufei relaxed and began to enjoy the film. Heero leaned back against the sofa, and during one particularly active bit of the movie, Duo slid his arm around Heero's neck. Heero didn't notice at first, but a while after, he placed his arm on Duo's leg, leaning his head back so it rested on Duo's thigh. Smiling faintly, he watched Duo's intent gaze, fixed on the screen, then moved back before Duo noticed.

Quatre spotted this, and smirked up at Trowa. Trowa sighed, Already, it appeared he was losing.

A/N: If you want to know what it looked like, have a peek at the gallery on Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz. It's the third picture in. According to this picture, GW is 1x2.


	11. Operation: Strawberry

**Operation: Strawberry**

Duo had bought strawberry-scented shampoo at the store. Guaranteed good enough to eat. That morning, he washed and braided his hair, then went into the sitting room. He turned around to close the door.

_Waft._

He turned around again. "Hi, guys!"

_Waft._

Heero caught the scent, and his eyes glazed over. Duo turned to look at him. "What's the matter, Heero?"

_Waft._

Heero leapt forward, biting onto the edge of Duo's braid. Duo shrieked, then ran around screaming for a while. The scent of strawberry filled the room. Finally, Duo spun around and slapped Heero across the face. "Don't touch my hair!" He caught the end of the braid, then stroked it gently. "It's okay, it's okay…"

Heero blinked, then turned and left the room.


	12. Operation: Bedtime

**Operation: Bedtime**

Heero couldn't sleep. This wasn't anything new. He was an insomniac, and this happened a lot. He was surprised, however, when he heard talking from the room next to him. Grabbing his gun – as he slept in the same green tank top and spandex shorts – he shut the door silently, then slipped into the room next door.

Duo was sprawled out across the bed, one arm and leg hanging out. "No, ma, I don't want any caaaaaaaaaake," he said. Heero checked. His eyes were closed – Duo was asleep. Yet he was talking. "I've already had some cheesecake and shortcake and pizza and cookies and candy and pie and ice cream and jelly and fries and chips and burgers and hot dogs and chocolate and freezies and pop…" Heero's eyes widened at each new food, then he sighed and left, closing the door.

He turned around just in time to watch Quatre, eyes shut also, opening the door to Wufei's room. Heero followed quietly, watching as Quatre sleepwalked over to Wufei's bed and tapped him on the shoulder.

Wufei's hand caught Quatre's wrist, and next second, his sword was resting against Quatre's throat. Heero instinctively pointed his gun at Wufei, trying to hide his surprise. Wufei slept with his sword?

That moment, however, Wufei woke up. "Oh, it's you," he grunted, spotting Quatre. "Heero, are you going to take him back to bed?"

Heero nodded, took Quatre's hand, and led him back to his own room. He was just settling himself down to sleep when the sound of machine guns echoed through the house. Instantly alert, he placed his back against the wall, gun once more in his hand, then edged slowly into the room the noise was coming from. Pushing open the door, he carefully stuck his head around the corner.

Trowa was lying in bed, snoring. With a sigh, Heero pushed him over onto his side, then went back to his own bedroom. It had been a busy night.


	13. Operation: Fondue

**Operation: Fondue**

The boys were having a fondue. With the new chocolate fountain Duo had been given for his birthday. It was strongly suspected to be Quatre's fault, though he denied it.

Quatre had cut up a lot of fruit while Heero and Trowa had figured out how to get the fountain to work. Duo had a huge bowl of marshmallows, and was waiting impatiently. Finally, however, it was sorted out, and the chocolate-dipping could begin. Quatre passed around the fondue forks, and they all grabbed some food.

A while later, almost half of the chocolate was gone, and the only one still eating was Duo. By now, his mouth was covered in chocolate, as were his fingers from grabbing marshmallows out of the bottom of the fountain when he had dropped them. Pausing for a moment to get a drink, he licked at his fingers in an attempt to get the chocolate off before it hardened. Heero's eyes widened, then he blushed, involuntarily licking his lips. Wufei rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Duo noticed Heero was watching, and purposefully sucked on his finger. Trowa, Quatre and Wufei left them to it.


	14. Operation: Sleepover

**Operation: Sleepover**

The gundam pilots had to move to another safehouse, due to detection by… a certain female flamingo. Unfortunately, this house wasn't fully furnished – namely, it had only one bed. A large bed, mind you, but just one. There was some argument from Wufei, and at first Heero seemed determined to sleep on the floor, but eventually Duo and Quatre managed to convince them that they could all fit in the bed. And so, they all got in.

It took a bit of shuffling around, but they ended up with Heero next to the wall, Duo next to him, Wufei in the middle, and Trowa and Quatre at the edge. However, there were problems.

"Move over," Wufei snarled.

Trowa frowned. "Quatre's almost falling off the edge already."

Duo shrugged. "Okay, I'll move." He rolled over, 'accidentally' pressing closer to Heero in the process. Heero sweatdropped, but didn't move.

Wufei moved himself over a bit, to give Trowa and Quatre more room. The duvet was turned around to cover them all, and they settled down to sleep. Or at least, mostly settled down.

Wufei glared, his face illuminated by the streetlight outside the window. "Stop moving around, Trowa!"

"He's a restless sleeper," Quatre protested.

Heero, squished between Duo and the wall, decided to comment. "At least Quatre's not sleepwalking."

"Sleepwalking?" Quatre's voice sounded puzzled. "I don't sleepwalk."

"Yes you do, Quat," Duo corrected. "And steal food from the fridge."

"So that's why I don't need breakfast…"

Heero rolled his eyes – not that anyone could see it. "Just sleep. We're busy in the morning."

However, it took a long time for them to get to sleep. Trowa started snoring. Duo started talking. Wufei almost decapitated them both, and Heero had to argue him out of it.

Quatre didn't notice. He'd wandered off to raid the fridge.


	15. Operation: Beavers

**Operation: Beavers**

Duo had been caught. By the police. And not for killing, or stealing, or having a gun. For drunk driving. Although he managed to avoid a fine, Heero insisted Duo do the community service, so he didn't have time to do it again. And so, Duo ended up helping out at Scouting meetings. Namely, Beavers. He did, of course, drag the others along with him, to help out.

At the first meeting, they were given 'forest names'. Duo was Chatter, Trowa was Hawkeye, Heero was Bubbles, Quatre was Chitter, and Wufei was Rainbow. The Beaver leader was called Sunshine.

"Okay, Beavers!" 'Sunshine' said with a huge grin. "Today we're going to do some crafts! There is some paint at every table! And a piece of paper! Work together to create some pretty pictures! Now, go sit at the tables…"

The children were quickly settled, and the gundam boys sat down too, as there were extra spaces. Heero added a few flowers to one girl's picture. Duo doodled tiny Deathscythes in a corner until Heero glared him out of it, then he switched to miniature Heeros jumping off cliffs and blowing things up. Trowa added a few animals to Heero's drawings, while Quatre showed one boy how to draw a real mobile suit. Wufei's dragons were being avidly watched by all those at his table, in the hopes that they would move.

"Good!" Sunshine smiled. "Now, we're going to do some dances!" She turned on the CD player, which immediately began playing the hoakie koakie.

Duo grinned. "You put your right hand in," he sang along, "you take your right hand out. In, out, in, out, and shake it all about…" His wide smile let everyone know what he was thinking. "You do the hoakie koakie and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!"

They went home afterwards. Duo was bouncing and exclaiming about how fun it had been. Most of the others had their ears covered.


	16. Matchmaker III: The Meal

**Operation: Matchmaker III: The Meal**

Quatre, noticing how Heero and Duo's relationship was getting on, suggested that they go out for dinner together.

Trowa, realizing he was losing so far, suggested everyone went. As he barely ever spoke, they listened to him – much to Quatre's annoyance. So, they all got into the car – with Trowa driving, since Heero was overly suicidal, Duo was banned, Quatre had a chauffer and Wufei preferred walking – and went to McDonalds (which I also don't own).

They ordered and started eating. Suddenly, several people produced straws and began shooting them with tomato ketchup. A while later, looking a bit sheepish, they brought out their guns, instead.

Muttering variations along the lines of 'why can't we have a normal night?', the gundam boys made their way back to the car and drove home, Duo still complaining over the loss of his chicken nuggets.


	17. Operation: ShootOut

**Operation: Shootout**

Duo, Quatre, and Wufei were already shot. Heero gestured rapidly to Trowa, who nodded. Quietly, they advanced on the enemy base, guns at the ready. Trowa turned the corner, and suddenly, a splash of red appeared on his chest, over his heart. He was down. Heero scowled briefly, then grabbed Trowa's gun.

Rounding the corner, he fired rapidly. Half the soldiers defending the base went down instantly. The rest surrendered – Heero shot them too, to make sure they wouldn't get in his way. He searched around, and found the small packet, then walked outside.

"Game over!" came over the loudspeakers. The rest of the team went over to congratulate Heero. Trowa was handed his gun back, then a paint-spattered Duo glomped Heero. "Great job, Heero!" Heero hid a smile. Maybe they should go paintballing more often.


	18. Operation: Big Mac

**Operation: Big Mac**

As an attempt to put Duo off fast food, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and Heero forced him to watch the movie Supersize Me. It was another old movie, but it wasn't as if any of the fast food places had changed their recipes. After it was finished, Duo leaned back against the sofa. "Thanks, guys."

Quatre looked at him worriedly. "Does that mean you're not going to eat fast food any more?"

"Or pester us to go there too?" Wufei added, a faint scowl on his face.

"Absolutely not!" Duo's grin was as wide as ever. "I'm gonna try to beat that guy's Big Mac-eating record!" He went to McDonalds, followed by the others, who were slightly stunned by the sudden decision.

After eating 50 Big Macs in 5 minutes, and being violently sick, Duo was convinced to postpone the record-breaking until after the war, by which time he would hopefully have forgotten about it.


	19. Operation: Twister

**Operation: Twister**

After dinner, Duo and Quatre convinced the others to play a game with them. As soon as Wufei reluctantly asked what they were going to play, a grinning Duo pulled out a Twister mat, Quatre revealing the spinner at the same time. Wufei immediately decided he was spinning it, as there was no way he was "playing a contusion game with you idiots".

And so, Heero, Duo, Trowa and Quatre stood around the mat, which had been laid out on the floor. Wufei spun the needle. "Left foot green."

Five minutes later, Trowa and Quatre had been disqualified for landing on each other – not that anyone thought it was accidental – and now sat next to Wufei, watching the game. From the looks of it, it was almost over.

"Right hand red." The two supporting hands were removed, and Heero and Duo collapsed on the floor in a tangle of limbs. It took another five minutes to untangle them. The first thing Duo said, once his mouth was uncovered, was "Let's play again!"


	20. Operation: Shut Up

**Operation: Shut Up**

Duo had a hangover. Nobody was quite sure why, as he'd been banned from alcohol – hence, there was none in the house, and he wasn't allowed to go out on his own. Yet somehow, he had a hangover. He sat at the dining room table, coffee in one hand, supporting his head with the other.

Quatre, predictable, walked into the room, cheerful as ever. "Good morning, Duo!"

Duo groaned. "Quat, what up for a sec, will ya?"

Quatre frowned, then nodded. "Okay. Do you want an aspirin? Anything?"

"Just shut up…"

Trowa came in, saw Quatre's face, and frowned at Duo. "What's wrong?"

"Shut up."

Heero came in, working hard to keep his expression neutral. "What happened?"

"Shut up."

Trying not to look concerned, Heero peered at Duo, trying to see underneath his bangs. "Are you okay?"

"Shut up!"

Hearing the noise, Wufei came into the room. "Shut up, Maxwell!"

Heero sighed. "There's something wrong with him."

Duo looked up and glared at them. "Look, I had a bit too much alcohol last night, due to chewing too much gum, then I couldn't get to sleep, because everyone was making too much noise, then Quatre and Trowa woke me up this morning, so my head aches and I feel sick and I'm ready to rip the head off the next person that talks!"

There was a momentary silence, then Wufei, unable to think of anything else to say, broke the silence.

"Shut up."


	21. Operation: Hyper

**Operation: Hyper**

This time, Duo didn't have a hangover. He had consumed over a ton of candy. At the moment, he was rocking back and forth, giggling, as Heero had stopped him from ricocheting off the walls and ceiling. Getting bored of that, however, he gave a huge grin. "Heeeeeeee-ro…" he said in a ding-song voice, leaning over the side until his head rested in Heero's lap. Heero's eye twitched, but he didn't move. Even when Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's neck then, giggling maniacally, started tickling him. Eventually, however, Trowa came over to lift the hyperventilating boy off him. Heero gave him a nod of thanks, and Duo attached himself to Trowa instead.

A while later, after Quatre had been dissuaded from killing Duo, and Wufei had finished shouting, Heero was sitting on his bed. Giggling quietly, Duo poked his head around the door. Still giggling, he snuck into the room, then pounced on Heero from behind. Having heard Duo approaching, Heero was silent.

Still smiling, Duo slid around Heero's body until he rested in his lap. Grinning up at him, he stole one of Heero's arms, snuggled up around it, and closed his eyes. A few seconds later – "Heeeeeee-ro?"

"What?"

"I can't get to sleep…"


	22. Matchmaker IV: Night Out

**Operation: Matchmaker IV: Night Out**

Duo wanted to go out for a night – for a meal, and possibly a movie. One problem: he needed an escort. Quatre and Trowa were excused, on account of 'things to do'. Wufei, of course, completely refused to have anything to do with getting Duo hyper and crazy. The task, therefore, fell to Heero, the only one unsociable enough to survive being dragged around with Duo. After being dragged to the restaurant, half a dozen night clubs, and a candy store, before they finally ended up at the movie.

The movie was a typical romantic action flick, with a bad guy terrorizing the town then stealing the good guy's girl, then the good guy killing the bad guy and marrying his girl with lots of drama. Fortunately, it had a lot of action, so Heero didn't fall asleep. Duo had picked up a random girl at the last club they went to, who sat next to him. Heero, from Duo's other side, tried to avert his gaze as they pawed at each other and kissed throughout the movie.

Afterward, when the girl regretfully left, Duo dragged Heero to another three night clubs, and proceeded to dance with everyone there, male or female. Heero got an awful lot of strange looks, partially because he was still wearing his spandex. Despite his many offers, he either refused or, in the case of a particularly persistent person – no, it wasn't Duo – hung them from the ceiling fan. People seemed to avoid him after that.

Finally, Heero dragged Duo away from his admirers and into the car. Duo went along with it, with a mock pout, and several of the club-goers either smirked or made suggestive comments. Duo grinned, vowing to remember some to try later.


	23. Operation: Sandwich

**Operation: Sandwich**

Duo was hungry, so he decided to make a sandwich. Being Duo, of course, he couldn't make a normal sandwich, so he set off to make the most uber-super-awesome-speical-giant sandwich of all time. He began by getting two slices of bread. He buttered one, then piled on everything he could find – a hot dog, baloney, salami, ham, mustard, a hamburger, mayonnaise, cheese, pepperoni pizza, more cheese, a few more slices of baloney, bacon, chicken, turkey, half a dozen kinds of fish, gravy, fries, potato chips, lamb, mint sauce, beef, Yorkshire pudding, barbecue sauce, horsemeat, pork, applesauce, black pudding, chocolate pudding, hot sauce, more mayonnaise, custard, vanilla pudding, chocolate sauce, ice cream, caramel sauce, plum sauce, teriyaki chicken, chicken korma, and, for luck, lettuce and tomato ketchup, along with fried onions and a few pickles. When it was finished, he could barely reach the top to put the other slice of bread on. Grinning hugely, he squished it, opened his mouth, and took a big bite. Sauce sprayed everywhere, but Duo munched happily. Sauce began oozing from the corner of his mouth, so he used his tongue to lick it up.

Heero twitched from the other room.

Duo finished his sandwich, then leaned back in the chair. "That's better."

Quatre, who'd walked in half-way through, was too shocked to say anything.


	24. Operation: Defenestration

**Operation: Defenestration**

The gundam boys were going to blow up a base. Since it was a stealth attack, however, they were going there on the bus.

Duo yawned. Nothing was happening. This ride was boring. Heero was sitting staring into space. Watching him had, for once, got boring quickly. Trowa was reading a book, oblivious to the world, and Quatre had his head on Trowa's lap. He was apparently sleeping, but Duo didn't believe it. Wufei was sitting in much the same way as Heero, except he had his eyes closed. This was supposed to be his way of meditating.

Looking around quickly, Duo pulled a ball of string and a GI Joe toy from his bag. Tying the end of the string to the GI Joe figure, he slipped the doll out of the open window, holding the string to stop it from falling to the ground. He was sitting at the back of the bus, so the GI Joe figure was blowing around behind the bus.

The driver of the car behind looked disbelievingly at the tiny toy, then decided to alert the bus driver. Turning his attention back to the road, he honked his horn.

The noise startled Duo, making him drop the string. With the other four suddenly looking around, he didn't dare grab it again. The string slowly unwound, the toy getting caught up in the wheel f the car behind them. Eventually, it stuck, and the car blew up.

Duo looked innocently at the four accusatory glares, holding up his empty hands. "I didn't do it."


	25. Operation: Christmas?

**Operation: Christmas?**

Guess which holiday.

Duo was skidding down the road in a sleigh, ringing a bell, and dressed in a red jacket and hat with white trimming. He also had a false beard over the lower part of his face, but it didn't obstruct his loud singing of 'Jingle Bells'. In front of the sleigh trudged Trowa, Quatre and Wufei. All were wearing brown clothes and antlers. Wufei even had a red nose, and looked decidedly unhappy about it. Heero, on the other hand, was arrayed in green, complete with hat, and a few bells dotted about. He looked almost like a jester, until you noticed his now-pointy ears. His expression, as he sat next to Duo, was dangerously neutral.

Grinning widely, Duo drove the sleigh to the next house, then got out, dragging a half-full sack behind him. The sliver of a moon shone off his black boots as he walked up to the door and rang the bell.

It was answered by a fairly young man wearing jeans and a blue sweater. Duo held out the sack. "Trick or treat?"


	26. Operation: Tree

**Operation: Tree**

Wufei glared at the tree. It glared back, the lights he had wrestled onto it so far glistening like evil eyes. He held up the tinsel, and pounced.

A while later, he extricated himself from the branches and tinsel. Trying a different approach, he threw the shiny string at the topmost branches of the tree. It stubbornly refused to stick. Being just as tenacious, Wufei started on the lower branches, then retrieved a stepladder from one of the many empty rooms of the house.

The next day, Heero, Duo, Trowa and Quatre went to visit Wufei in hospital. Duo, cackling madly, brought along a miniature tree, and had hysterics when Wufei jumped out the window at the sight.


	27. Operation: Base Jumping

**Operation: Base Jumping**

The gundam boys had, for a while, been looking for a sport to match their lifestyle. A daring sport, with huge chances of harm or loss of life. And they had finally found it.

They gathered at the edge of the cliff, equipment at the ready. Nodding to one another, they stepped off the edge, one at a time.

Wufei went first, falling past the rocks below before opening his parachute and landing smoothly on the beach beyond. Quatre, Trowa, and Duo followed him, activating their parachutes at exactly the right moment.

Heero, however, just kept falling; eventually, he crashed into the beach and rolled to a stop at Wufei's feet. Quatre sighed. "We need to teach Heero how to use a parachute."


	28. Matchmaker V: Take the Damn Hint!

**Operation: Matchmaker V: Take the Damn Hint!**

Wufei was fed up of Duo and Heero staring at each other. Since he didn't know how to tell them, he decided on another approach.

Duo woke up in the morning and reached over to push 'snooze' on his alarm clock. Instead of the plastic, however, his hand touched something smooth. Something papery. Definitely more awake, he switched the light on by his bed, and brought the paper up to his face. His eyes widened. It was a series of photographs of Heero. Just Heero. No clothes whatsoever. He stashed them in his drawer.

They were never seen again.

Heero found an envelope on top of his laptop. After checking it for explosives, surveilance equipment, and anything else he could think of, he finally opened it. It contained pictures of Duo. Brushing his hair, dancing, and aparently singing. In all of them, he was completely naked.

Heero's expression didn't change. He stashed the pictures under his pillow, back in their envelope.

Much to Wufei's disappointment, Heero and Duo still wouldn't mention their obvious feelings.


	29. Operation: Gardener

**Operation: Gardener**

The hedge was getting out of hand. As the other pilots were out on missions, Duo was forced to do it.

Bored look in his eyes, Duo snipped his way along the hedge. Then he looked back at the leaf standing, despite the fact that he'd just cut it. The positioned the gardening scissors, and tried again. Nothing. Sighing, he went inside and got a set of hedgetrimmers. They, too, failed to cut the leaf – he could swear the blade passed right through it.

Interested now, Duo got the chainsaw from the shed. He revved it a few times, then swiped at the leaf. It refused to be cut.

Snarling, Duo left momentarily. Then a giant foot stomped down on the lawn, Deathscythe swung his scythe, and cut the whole damn hedge down.

End of problem.


	30. Operation: Cooking II

**Operation: Cooking II**

It was Heero's turn to cook. Duo, interested, stuck his head in. "What're you making?"

"Pizza."

Duo's eyes went wide. Heero was actually making pizza? Awesome! He glomped him. "Luv you Hee-chan!"

'Hee-chan' blushed slightly, then untangled Duo's arms from around his neck. "You're welcome."

Duo bounced into the dining room to set the table.

5 minutes later, Heero brought the pizza in. Duo bit into it, and his eyes went wide. It tasted like... "Mayonnaise?"

Heero frowned. Duo didn't like it?

Duo, however, grinned. "It's great! Thank-you!"

Heero sweatdropped as, for the second time that day, Duo glomped him.


	31. Operation: Ice Cream

**Operation: Ice Cream**

Once again, it was overly hot. An ice-cream van was driving past the house. As soon as Duo heard the friendly tune, he raced out the door and chased down the van.

The others caught him just as the vendor got him a foot-long popsicle. Duo licked it happily, then stepped aside so the others could buy themselves ice cream.

After a moment's contemplation, Quatre got a vanilla ice-cream. Trowa got a chocolate one, and Wufei got an orange popsicle. Heero, after Duo had stopped pestering him, got a rocket popsicle. He hadn't wanted to, but Duo and Quatre were hard to ignore, especially since Quatre was paying.

Ices in hand, the five walked the mile back to the house, licking their treats. Duo bounced happily, glad he'd caught the truck before it vanished, as they have a habit of doing on hot days. Especially since they'd had his favourite kind of popsicle... An evil glint in his eye, he sucked on the popsicle. Indeed, this was fun...

Heero caught a glimpse of Duo out of the side of his eye. He immediately blushed redder than a stop sign. Quatre knew this because there was a stop sign to compare him to.

Duo winked at Quatre, and commenced eating his popsicle as provocatively as humanly possible.


	32. Operation: Parachuting

**Operation: Parachuting**

The pilots had agreed. It was time Heero learned to use a parachute. After the first time, when Heero had broken his leg jumping off the 50th floor of the hospital, Duo had been convinced. When, during a base jumping trip, Heero had simply fallen to the rocks, the others had agreed. It was time to educate the perfect soldier.

They arrived at the parachuting instructing place five minutes early. Quatre had insisted they get there early, in case there were any more forms for them to fill out. Fortunately, there weren't, and they and the instructor got into the helicopter.

On the way up, the instructor explained things to them. "You release your parachute here," he said, pointing at the diagram. "After that, it will be of no use. You may release before then, however." Duo smirked. Heero was as expressionless as ever. "We will be jumping in a few minutes, once we get up to the right height. Now, check your parachutes are packed correctly, as I showed you earlier."

A while later, the door opened, and they were told to jump. Heero did as instructed. The teacher met up with him half-way down, and yelled at him to open his parachute. Finally, the instructor reached over and pulled the cord on Heero's 'chute himself. Once on the ground, the instructor frowned at Heero. "You fail. You are completely incapable of learning to use a parachute."

Duo sighed. "I knew it."


	33. Operation: Arashi

**Operation: Arashi**

The thunder boomed just after a flash of light lit up the garden outside. Quatre jumped, almost dropping his cards. Duo sighed, putting an arm around him. "Come on, Quat. It's not like poker's that hard..."

Quatre nodded. "I know how to play, Duo. It's just-" Another crash of thunder, and Quatre glomped onto Duo. "Helpmehelpmesavemesaveme!"

Duo frowned. "You're scared of thunder, Quat?"

Quatre nodded, looking a little guilty. "I'm sorry, but Trowa's not here..."

"That's fine. I don't mind."

Heero, however, clearly did mind. He was in the middle of glaring Quatre to death, and praying that Trowa would be home soon. Unfortunately, Trowa didn't get home until the next day.


	34. Matchmaker VI: Surprise, Surprise!

**Operation: Matchmaker VI: Surprise, Surprise!**

Heero was on another of his insomniac wanderings. Bored, he decided to see what Duo was talking about tonight. Opening the door, he snuck inside.

Duo was snoring loudly, one leg sticking out of the bed. "Mommy, I like chicken. It tastes real good. Especially with chocolate sauce. That's really yummy. I wonder if Hee-chan tastes yummy with chocolate sauce? I think he tastes nicer than chicken... but he won't let me eat him yet... maybe he'll let me lick him if I say please? I should ask him... if he said yes it would be awesome, but he might say no... then I'd be back to chicken. Perhaps I could convince Quatre to get some ice-cream..."

Heero's eyes widened. What was this talk of chocolate sauce and chicken? Frowning, he watched Duo. "Duo..."

"Yes, Hee-chan?"

Duo's eyes were still shut. Heero thought he was still asleep. "What were you talking about?"

"Tasty stuff, Hee-chan."

"Then why was my name mentioned?"

"'Cause you look tasty."

"What?"

"You look tasty, Hee-chan."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I looooove ya Hee-chan."

Heero frowned again, then left quickly. He would have to think about this new development...


	35. Operation: Kittens!

**Operation: Kittens!**

One day, Duo bounced up to Heero. "Hee-chan, can I have a kitten? Pleeeeease?"

Heero frowned. "Why are you asking me? Go ask Quatre."

"'Kay!" Duo bounced off again. A minute later, he bounced back in. "He said yes!"

Wufei rolled his eyes. "Heaven save us..."

The next day, Duo got his kitten. It was black and white and regarded the others disdainfully, until Duo picked it up and hugged it. It started purring like a chainsaw, but glared murderously at anyone within 5 miles of Duo. Duo was tempted to dub it "Hee-chan", but finally decided on "Sarutobi", or "Tobi" for short.

Once they got home, the kitten proceeded to tear up all of the carpets and shed on the furniture. He then plopped himself down on Duo's bed to nap. Duo grinned, and followed suit, leaving the others to clean up the mess, get a litterbox, and debate over who was allowed to kill it first.


	36. Operation: Blackout

**Operation: Blackout**

Duo was getting himself a snack in the kitchen when the lights went out. Sighing, he went into the living room, where the others had already gathered. Quatre was holding what he claimed was a candle. When it was lit, however...

"That's not a candle, Quat."

"What?"

"It's a stick of dynamite."

Quatre looked at it curiously. "Oh, it is. I was wondering why it was sparking." Shrugging, he pulled out the fuse, and they went in search of something else. Wufei found some candles, and Duo produced a handful of flashlights. They gathered in the living room again.

"Lets tell stories!"

Wufei rolled his eyes, and Trowa sighed. Quatre, on the other hand, grinned. "Okay Duo! You start!"

"Okay! It was a dark and stormy night..." Like magic, all the lights went on again. "Dammit!"


	37. Operation: Waterworld

**Operation: Waterworld**

As there was a water park near where they were currently staying, Duo had insisted that they all go. To his surprise, he'd only had a few protests. After all, it wasn't as if they had much to do...

It didn't take long for them to get there. It did, however, take a while to persuade Heero to go back and get his swimming costume, as he hadn't planned on entering the water. Fortunately, Duo was very persuasive, and they forced Wufei to get his swimming costume, too, to his annoyance. Due to the last swimming incident, he hadn't wanted to swim ever again.

Once they got there, and changed, Duo spotted the slides. Grinning, he ran up to one. "Come on, guys!"

"Not a chance," Wufei snorted, folding his arms.

"C'mon, Feifles! Ya scared?" Duo shouted, already half-way up the ladder.

"Why you-" Furious, Wufei pursued Duo up the stairs, then lunged at Duo. Duo stepped neatly out of the way, and Wufei fell down the slide. He emerged from the pool below, coughing and sputtering. Duo, having gone down after him, laughed, then looked around. "Where's Heero?"

In answer, there was a loud explosion. Heero ran past, grabbed their arms, and dragged them back to the car. Once the car door was closed, he allowed himself a proud smirk. "Mission accomplished."

Duo settled his cap back on his head, now understanding why Heero had made them leave their things in the car. "What the hell?"

"I think that sums up all our reactions pretty well, Maxwell."


	38. Operation: Snowstorm

**Operation: Snowstorm**

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful..."

"No, Maxwell, you are not making a fire in here."

Duo pouted. "But Feifles..."

"No buts! And stop calling me that ridiculous name! You make me sound like a hair product!"

"How about Fei-Fei? Wuffie? Fei-chan? Feirnandos?"

"God, Maxwell, can you be serious for one minute?!"

"Course I can, Feifoo."

"And just because you're bored, why do you have to hang around with me!"

"Cause Heero's busy tryin' ta clear snow off the internet dish, and I'm not even gonna ask what Quat and Tro're doin."

"There's that much snow on the satellite dish?"

"You betcha, Wuferlator! And at last check, there were a few feet of snow over the letterbox!"

Wufei rolled his eyes. "Oh, great..."

As soon as the snow stopped falling, Duo dragged Wufei out for a snowball fight. He didn't do too well, though, as Wufei had camouflage.


	39. Operation: Lick

**Operation: Lick**

"No, Maxwell."

"Aww, but Feifie..."

"No! I will not participate in your perverted experiments!"

"But I just wanted you to lick it..."

Wufei turned brighter red. "Why should I lick the metal pole? It's winter, Maxwell! My tongue'll freeze to it!"

Duo sighed. "Wuffles, is it that cold?"

"No..."

"Then how could it be cold enough to freeze your tongue. C'mon, I'll do it first..."

"Alright. But if your tongue gets stuck, I get to laugh at you."

"Deal." Duo promptly licked the pole near the door, then pointed to the frost-less stripe. "You lick it, then."

"Ugh, no! I am not licking anywhere your tongue has touched!"

"Fine, then. Lick somewhere else."

Disgusted, Wufei went to the next pole over, and licked it. Since it wasn't warmed from the heat coming out the door, his tongue froze to it, and stuck. "...axhell?"

"Heh... ya fell for it, Woof. Yer stuck there!"

"Axhell eht ere ight is hinute!" (Maxwell get here right this minute)

"Shan't." Chortling, Duo ran inside, leaving Wufei stuck to the post.


	40. Matchmaker VII: Whaddaya Know!

**Operation: Matchmaker VII: Whadda ya know!**

Heero had decided. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know if what he'd heard had been true...

"Duo?"

"Yeah, Hee-chan?"

"Do you love me?"

Duo's face froze, then he forced a smile. "Whatever makes ya think that, Hee-chan?"

"I heard you saying it in your sleep." Heero looked away, slightly ashamed to have been eavesdropping. It wasn't really that if the person was talking to you, though, was it? He wasn't sure.

A sigh came, but Heero still didn't turn around. "Yeah, I guess..."

"...oh."

"Yer mad with me now, aren't ya Hee-chan? Well, that's fine. Guess I'll just leave now..."

"No."

"Huh?"

Heero glanced around to make sure no-one was watching, then leaned forward to whisper in Duo's ear. Duo's frown slowly turned to a smile, and he glomped Heero.


	41. Operation: Judges

**Operation: Judges**

Five brown envelopes arrived in the mail. The kind you know has something to do with the government. This was helped by the little seal on the back, even though wax had been given up on years ago.

Duo opened his, and looked at it incredulously. "Jury duty? What kinda idiot wants us to do jury duty? We're in the middle of the war! How the hell are we meant to do this?"

"We have to, Maxwell. They obviously chose me because I'm good at dispensing justice. No clue why you were chosen, though."

Duo punched Wufei on the arm. "Yeah, whatever, Fee. They probably just wanted some oranges."

Wufei, blinked, then abruptly remembered the crate of mandarin oranges Duo had given him for Christmas last year. "Curse you, Maxwell."

"Yeah, whatever."

"This will interfere with our missions," Heero grumbled. They went anyway.

In court...

"These random people are accused of miscellaneous paraphernalia, war propaganda, and in general being bad people. Jury, what is your verdict?"

Duo, having given himself the job of spokesperson, stood up. "We, the Jury, find that the judge needs a new wig. He is sentenced to 50 hours community service. The others must sit through Relena's speech on peace, then act as her aides for five years."

In the silence that followed, Wufei told Heero "I told you that five years was too long."


	42. Operation: Bananas

**Operation: Bananas**

"Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today!" Duo sang, skipping down the hall.

Wufei looked sceptically at him. "What're you holding, then?"

"This?" Duo waved the banana at him. "Oh, it's an anti-banana. Like antimatter, see?"

"I thought it didn't exist."

"It doesn't."

"But you're holding that banana."

"So?"

Wufei's head was starting to ache. "So how can you hold it if it doesn't exist?"

"Who said it doesn't exist?"

"You did."

"Did I? Or did the Anti-Duo say it?"

"Damn you, Maxwell!"


	43. Operation: Pink

**Operation: Pink**

And now, a trip into the past...

As a young boy, Quatre was always dressed in pink. Now, we find out why.

Quatre was startled out of his daze by a question. As he hadn't been paying attention, his automatic reflexes cut in. "Pink."

The woman looked at him strangely. "Okay..."

The next day, he had a pile of new, pink clothes on his bed. The others, which he'd grown out of, had been thrown away.

"Why do I have pink clothes?"

"You asked for them."

"What do you mean?"

"I asked you what colour clothes you wanted, and you said pink."

And thus, Quatre was addicted to pink.


	44. Operation: Beaches

**Operation: Beaches**

Another uber-hot day dawned. Quatre declared it was too hot, and dragged them to the beach. Heero just had time to pack some towels, swim trunks, sun lotion, grenades and rocket launchers before he was pushed out the door.

Duo spread his blanket on the sand, then changed quickly into the swimming trunks. He ran down to the water, ignoring Heero's pointed look at the sun block. Trowa, however, picked it up, sighing. Quatre took his shirt off, and Trowa spread sun lotion on Quatre's back. After a while, they switched places. As Heero and Wufei both had tans, they didn't need the sun block.

A few days later, Duo was as red as a lobster. Wufei laughed at him, but Heero merely smirked as he spread Aloe Vera gel over Duo's red shoulders.

Later, Trowa and Quatre stole the gel. It was never seen again.


	45. Operation: Nuts

**Operation: Nuts**

Heero and Trowa had gone on a mission. This left Duo and Quatre to amuse themselves, and embarrass Wufei.

"Hey Quat! We should make the stairs into a toboggan ride!"

"Duo, you're crazy!"

"Whaddaya mean, crazy?"

"I mean, you're nuts!"

"Yup, got nuts right here!" Duo held up a bag of pistachios.

"Gimmie some?"

"Nope."

Quatre lunged at Duo, but Duo stepped out of the way.

"You're not getting my nuts!"

Wufei walked in. "Is this something I should know?"

"Quatre's trying to steal my nuts!"

"I just want to look at them!"

"Yeah, and play with them, and eat them..."

Wufei turned pale, and left.

When Trowa and Heero opened the door, they were startled by a sled sliding right past them and landing in a pile of pillows. Duo and Quatre fell out, still giggling about nuts. Heero shook his head. "We shouldn't leave them alone again."

"Agreed."


	46. Matchmaker VIII: Ha!

**Operation: Matchmaker VIII: Ha!**

"I told you," Quatre over the loud bangings and moans. He smirked at a particularly loud cry of 'Heero' and the answering grunt.

Trowa sighed. "Yes, you did. It would be nice if they were a bit... quieter about it, though."

"Come on!"

"On what?"

"Trowa!"

"You suggested it." Trowa dragged Quatre up to their bedroom. As if it were a contest, their noises, too, echoed throughout the house.

Wufei groaned, covering his ears. "I need to get some earplugs... or move out, yes, that sounds like a good idea..."


	47. Operation: Melt

**Operation: Melt**

Spring was coming. Yeah, I know we only just had summer, but anyway, these don't have chronological order. Apart from the Matchmaker stuff, and Base Jumping and Parachuting... and half a dozen of the other ones... but that's beside the point!

Anyway... the snow was starting to melt. Along with the numerous icicles in Duo's Icicle Collection, and his Snowman Collection outside, and his Snow Fort, Snow Deathscythe, Snow Cannon, complete with Snow Cannonballs, and collection of Snow Tyres. Duo frowned. This would not do. Every year, his snow things always melted, and every winter, he built them again. Yet they were always gone next summer! This had to end! He took quick, decisive action to save his favourites of that year.

"Duo?"

"Yes Quat?"

"Why is there a Snow Heero in the freezer?"

"Um..."

Sadly, the Snow Heero had to be sacrificed for popsicles later that year.


	48. Operation: Shooting Star

**Operation: Shooting Star**

"Hey, let's watch the meteor shower!"

"Duo, you've been in space, why do you need to watch some shooting stars?"

"'Cause they're lucky, Hee-chan!"

They obediently filed out onto the deck. Duo started ooh-ing and ahh-ing at the many streaks of light. Suddenly, he jumped back. "Wow, that one was really close!"

"Maxwell?"

"Yeah?"

"You know you said shooting stars were lucky?"

"Yeah?"

"That one crushed your car."

"Nooooo!"


	49. Operation: Lemonade

**Operation: Lemonade**

Bored, Duo had set up a lemonade stand. He didn't have any actual lemonade, though...

"Hey, Foofie! Want some lemonade?"

Wufei looked sceptically at the jug on the table. "That looks like vegetable oil, Maxwell."

"Yeah, so?"

"How dare you try to sell me vegetable oil in place of lemonade?!"

"Aww, c'mon Fei, I just need some money to buy some lemonade, that's all..."

"Fine." Wufei handed him some money. "Now go."

Later that day, Duo was seen, still sitting at his lemonade stand, with a jug of engine oil in front of him.


	50. Operation: Silent Strife

**Operation: Silent Strife – no, not Cloud**

Trowa walked into the room. "..."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "...?"

"...!"

"... ...?!"

"...!"

"...!"

"...!"

"...!"

Duo sighed. "At times like these, we really need subtitles."


	51. Operation: Glaring Contest

**Operation: Glaring Contest**

And live here today, we have a glaring contest between two members of the Gundam boys! It's the least likely participants, Duo and Quatre!

(Shocked silence.)

Yeah, I know, weird. Anyway, can we have a little applause here?

(One person claps hesitantly)

Anyway... begin!

(ching!)

Duo walked into the room, and spotted Quatre, with the last piece of candy in front of him. This called for some action! He stepped forward, unleashing his best version of the Heero Yuy Trademarked Death Glare of Doom! But Quatre countered with the Uber Fluffy Bunny Innocent Look, closely followed by the Threatening Glare of Dark Magic! Oh, but Duo's using the Puppy Eyes Whine! Can Quatre resist this? It appears he can! Now both are turning Heero Yuy Trademarked Death Glares on each other! Will either of them survive? It seems... it seems like Wufei has stolen the candy out from under both of their noses! He is doomed...


	52. Matchmaker IX: How It Happened

**Operation: Matchmaker IX: How It Happened...**

The Gundams had been at it for five minutes. Quatre sighed, and then pushed the button to open the cockpit. Jumping out onto the ramp, he shouted up at the other Gundam "We shouldn't be fighting!"

The ramp on the other Gundam opened too, and Trowa walked out, hands up.

Quatre sighed in relief. It looked like he wasn't going to die today, anyway. "Hey, I was the one who surrendered and came out first, remember?"

"You sure?" Trowa's gaze was calculating.

"Of course."

Trowa jumped from Heavyarms' ramp to Sandrock's, tackled Quatre, and they had hot monkey sex on Sandrock's entry ramp with the Manguanac Corps cheering them on.


	53. Operation: Sutra

**Operation: Sutra**

Wufei blew the dust off some more of the old books. He'd decided to search the attic for something to read after he'd run out of his own books. Trowa was accompanying him, due to his own lack of reading material.

"Find anything?" Trowa asked, leaning over Wufei's shoulder.

Wufei shook his head. "Not yet, now move. You're blocking the light."

Trowa obediently moved his head, then his eye widened. He reached over and pulled out an ancient book.

"What's that?"

Grinning, Trowa opened it. "It's the Kama Sutra."

Wufei scowled, turning his head away. Trowa stowed it in his pocket, for later 'research'.


	54. Operation: Bang

**Operation: Bang**

"Hey, Trowa."

Trowa turned. "Hi."

Duo bounced up to him. "What's that over there?"

Trowa turned to look in the direction Duo was pointing, his hair and eye hastily changing places. "Over where?"

Duo stared. "Wow, Quat was right..."

"What?"

"He said that you only had one eye, and it switched with your bang whenever you turned your head."

"...what?"

"Turn to the right..." Trowa's eye and unibang flipped over. "See?"

"How could I?" In disbelief, Trowa shook his head. His eye and bang flipped back and forth for a while, then got dizzy and collided in the middle. Trowa looked shocked.

Duo grinned. "Now that's what I'm talking about."

**A/N: **Alright, that's it! I'm officially out of ideas now, people! Send me some? Pleeeeease?


	55. Operation: Easter

**A/N: **Okay, I'm back with a load more ideas. And thank-you to Sparkley-tangerine, who actually reviewed and sent me some ideas! Yay! one person claps sarcastically; sweatdrops Okay, I'm done now.

**Operation: Easter**

Easter eggs had been left at the door to a certain safe house that we all know and love. Quatre opened the door to the house to find the basket of eggs. Having checked them over for traps, he brought it into the house and set it on the dining room table. "What do you make of this?"

Heero glanced at it. "Hn. Not edible."

Duo leaned over, staring avidly. "Hey, I saw some of these dropped off at a house down the street. It was some weird clucking bunny thing."

The other boys looked sceptical. A clucking bunny? Wasn't that what chickens did? Finally, Trowa admitted to seeing one before, also around Easter time, and the problem was resolved.

They were just debating what to do, then the eggs exploded in a puff of purple smoke, and the Gundam boys jumped back, guns in hand. Duo peered at the now-empty basket, a grin on his face.

"I love those bunnies!"


	56. Operation: Christmas

**Operation: Christmas**

"Christmastime! Christmastime!" Duo bounced down the stairs, almost colliding with everyone else, who were also making their way downstairs, but far more sleepily. He screeched to a stop in front of the tree and screeched even louder than before. "Presents!"

He refused to be persuaded to leave the present opening until after breakfast, so the others reluctantly consented to a barrage of wrapping paper, cardboard, and squeals of delight from both Quatre and Duo. Eventually, one particularly high-pitched scream shattered Heero's calm. Pulling his gun from his pocket, he fired a bullet into every present left.

Unfortunately, Trowa had bought Quatre a puppy.


	57. Operation: Marsh

**Operation: Marsh**

"Where are we going today?"

"The marsh!"

"Oh joy," Heero said, his normal monotone in place.

Duo slapped him across the arm. "C'mon, Hee-chan! It'll be fun!"

It started out vaguely okay. They walked through the marsh. Wufei wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and ended up waist-deep in mud. Then a startled swan surprised Quatre, causing him to fall into Trowa. They both ended up sitting in the marsh, with Duo laughing at them. Quatre pouted, then smirked, and lobbed a hand full of mud at Duo's face. A full-fledged mud war ensued, where truces were made, alliances were broken, and everyone got covered in mud.

They finally arrived home, plastered with muck. By the time they were all showered, there was no more hot water.


	58. Matchmaker X: The Plan

**Operation: Matchmaker X: The Plan**

Duo looked up from where he was sprawled on the floor. "Yo, Quat!"

"What, Duo?"

"D'ya think Fuffei likes guys or girls?"

"I really don't know. Why?"

"Just 'cause. Heh, wanna find out?"

Quatre was slightly unsure about this. "What do you propose?"

"We set our little Feifie up! C'mon, seriously, d'ya think he'd go get laid himself? And he soooo needs it. We'd be doing him a favour, really."

"Okay..."

"Great! First, we need to find someone Feish..."


	59. Operation: Tubby

**Operation: Tubby**

Duo and Quatre had to go to therapy after the war, to repair the damage done to their troubled minds. The only surprising part about this was that they were the only ones.

"What should we make them think today, Quat?" Duo asked gleefully, pausing outside the door.

"Well, let's think..."

The psychologist opened the door and ushered them in. "Well hello there! And how are you today?"

Duo put on a cute little smile. "Eh-oh! Tinkie Winkie good!"

Quatre waddled in after him, also smiling cutely. "How oo?"

"Okay, I guess," the psychologist answered cautiously. "Do you want a drink?"

Duo and Quatre both giggled. "Naughty Noo-Noo spill Tubby Custard all over floor," Duo confided.

The psychologist looked as though she were going to ask a question, then decided she didn't want to know. "How about something to eat?"

"Tubby toast! Tubby toast!" they shouted in unison.

The psychologist was now very scared, but decided she had to do what she was paid for. She made a brave stab at it. "Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

Quatre looked around, as if making sure nobody was there, then leaned close to the psychologist's ear. "Lala playing with Po's ball," he whispered.

That was enough. "Okay. Goodbye."

"Bye-bye!" Quatre and Duo wandered off to hide behind a bush. The psychologist sweatdropped, surprised she had a bush in her consulting room, then shook her head. "Bye-bye," she repeated firmly.

Sighing, they came out from behind a filing cabinet on the other side of the room, waved, and jumped down a hole that had just appeared in the floor. The psychologist vowed to quit her job and become a shopping assistant.


	60. Operation: Smile!

**Operation: Smile!**

It was Heero's birthday. Or Duo had randomly proclaimed it his birthday, and everyone else had decided to go along with it. And Duo had already decided what to do for Heero's birthday. He was going to make Heero smile.

He crept up to Heero as he was eating his breakfast. "Hiya!"

Heero did nothing.

"Areya okay?"

Nothing.

"Hee-chan? Ya alive?"

Nothing.

"You're trying not to smile! You're trying not to smile!" With a huge grin on his face, he peered up into Heero's face.

Wufei walked up behind Duo and hit him on the head. And Heero smiled.


	61. Operation: Shopping

**Operation: Shopping**

Quatre needed a new pair of clothes. Everyone had got fed up of the pink shirts, so he was dragged along to the mall.

Once he got there, however, he started having fun. He and Duo ran around through the mall, handing all the bags of random junk to Heero, Wufei and Trowa, who had already decided that there was no way they would suggest something like that ever again.

Suddenly, Duo spun around and pointed dramatically at a store. "They're having a sale!"

Quatre turned and struck a pose. "Indeed they are! But what shall we do about it?"

"We shall conquer the sale!" Duo struck a pose also, then they both spun and ran into the store, yelling random quotes and striking poses on the way.

Heero, Trowa and Wufei followed, rolling their eyes. Once inside, they could see Duo and Quatre wrestling with a dozen other people for one shirt when there were five others just sitting on the shelf.

Wufei shook his head. "This is getting ridiculous..."


	62. Operation: Gragh!

**Operation: Gragh!**

Duo had a mission. Admittedly, it wasn't from any of the stupid Professor people, but it was an important mission nonetheless. He had to sneak up behind all four other pilots, jump on them and yell gragh. And all without getting himself killed. It was going to be hard...

Quatre was easy. He squealed, but still had his gun pointed at Duo before a second was up. It didn't take too long for him to calm down, either.

Trowa was a little more difficult. Duo wasn't looking forward to having a knife held against his throat again anytime soon. It was his fault for trying to catch Trowa while preparing dinner.

Wufei chased Duo around the house with his katana for half an hour before getting fed up and wandering off. Then there was only one more to go...

Duo tried everything, but he couldn't manage to sneak up on Heero Yuy. Not while cooking dinner, reading, working on his Gundam, or even in the morning, when any decent person should be asleep. Duo had gotten up early on purpose to attempt that. Finally, he managed to do it while Heero was working on his computer. To his annoyance, he lost part of his fringe to Heero's reactions.


	63. Operation: Jello

**Operation: Jello**

The Gundam boys had been playing truth or dare. You can guess that that's a bad plan, but even if you couldn't, you would know it now. It started out as a dare, from Duo to Wufei. Wufei upped it to a double dare, and Heero okayed it.

"Ready, Wuff?" Duo grinned over at Wufei.

Wufei was too embarrassed to complain at the nickname. He nodded curtly.

They both threw off their trench coats, and ran through WalMart wearing nothing but green jello.

Half an hour later, a laughing Quatre came to bail them out of jail.


	64. Matchmaker XI: Someone Feish

**Operation: Matchmaker XI: Someone Feish**

Heero and Trowa ended up in the plan as well – Quatre had decided they needed Heero's laptop to do research on the people, and neither of them was stupid enough to risk stealing it. Duo had decided they needed Trowa to stop Quatre from complaining when he and Heero got bored of talking.

Due to this, they didn't get a lot done. However, they did get a list of people to try. They made sure to have both male and female people on the list, just in case. Finally, they made plans for where they were going, called up the people to confirm dates, and decided on excuses to use to drag Wufei along.

The first date was set for the night after.

**A/N:** In case you didn't notice, the Matchmaker series are kinda their own series... they weren't meant to be originally, but they've evolved. Like Pokemon, except hopefully it won't end up with only little kids reading it...


	65. Operation: Braid

**Operation: Braid**

Heero's observations were going well. He could now write a paper on the subject of his choice: Duo's braid.

Braid, noun. Length of anything interwoven or plaited. Entwined hair, plait; band, etc, entwined with the hair; silk, thread, etc woven into a band; hence ing. In the case of a certain braided baka, long leash stretching out behind him. Good for pulling on, excellent source of control. Has various lock picks, knives, insects, etc hidden in it. Home for some small furry animals. Stops hair from dragging on the ground when being is in motion. Must be groomed at least twice a day, at dawn and dusk. Subject appears very reluctant to let others touch said hair. Washed weekly, due to lack of time and conditioner (uses 1 full bottle per use). Takes the rest of the week to dry. Takes an hour to brush and braid. Braided repeatedly; once loose, hair is excessively wavy. Tends to be soft...

After that, however, the essay went downhill, no matter how many times he re-wrote it.


	66. Operation: Pony

**Operation: Pony**

Duo finally got the courage to ask Wufei a question he'd wanted to ask him for a long time. A very long time.

"Wufei? Why do you wear your hair like that?"

Wufei was stunned, first by the fact that Duo, DUO of all people, had actually used his real name, and secondly, because of the question itself. "I like it like this."

"Yeah, yeah, but how about something else? Something that doesn't rip your hair out?"

Wufei considered it for a while, then shook his head. "I'm used to it," he said dismissively.

Later, Duo imagined Wufei without his hair in a ponytail. It would have a huge crease in it from where he normally had the elastic. He shuddered. "No wonder he never lets it down."


	67. Operation: Corn

**Operation: Corn**

Duo peered over from his huge dangerous shinigami uber-cool awesome amazing great superb amazing again fancy fantastic super sandwich of deadly doom. "Quat, what're ya eating?"

Quat blinked, then looked at his own sandwich. "Corn bread sandwich with corned beef and sweetcorn."

Duo sighed. "That's corny."

"Says you? Mr. huge dangerous shinigami uber-cool awesome amazing great superb amazing again fancy fantastic super sandwich of deadly doom person?"

"Yes, says me."

"Duo?"

"What?"

"You suck."

"And very well too."


	68. Operation: Mop

**Operation: Mop**

Duo looked up at the mess of brown on Heero's head. "Hee-chan, why'dya have a mop on your head?"

Heero looked up, pulled the mop that was indistinguishable from his actual hair off his head, hn'd, and threw it away.

Duo stared for a while, then managed to shut his mouth. He opened it again a few seconds later. "What I meant is, why dontcha brush your hair every once in a while?"

"Hn. Unnecessary."

"Yeah it is necessary! Ya hafta brush your hair!"

"I don't."

"Cheater." Sticking his tongue out, Duo stomped off, wishing he didn't have to brush his hair.


	69. Operation: Judo

**Operation: Judo**

Wufei had decided... yes, WUFEI! I bet you thought I was going to say Duo or Heero or even Quatre, but nooo. WUFEI had decided that Duo... yes, he comes into this to... anyway, Duo needed some discipline. He had found a martial art that he thought might suit, namely Judo. As many who have done or watched Judo will know, however, it is a very friendly sport...

"Okay guys!" the overly-happy Judo instructor squealed. "Get your grips! You hold onto your opponent like this..." She proceeded to demonstrate a technique which involved putting an arm around your partner's neck, pulling them forward, then twisting around so they fell on the ground. "That's kube-goshi. I want you to practice five times, then throw. Begin!"

Wufei looked resignedly at Duo, who was bouncing up and down. "Okay, so you do... this?" He stepped in as she had shown, but the instructor shook her head.

"More chest-to-chest contact!"

Wufei looked scandalized. "What do you mean? This is martial arts, not marital arts!"

"Yes, but unless you have proper chest-to-chest contact, your opponent isn't off balance and you're not going to throw them. Judo is a friendly sport, you have to get very close to your opponent. Try again."

Sighing, Wufei did as he was told. Duo squealed. "Feifles, get off my braid!"

"Cut your damn hair, then!"

"Stop arguing and throw!"

With a snarl, Wufei completed the throw. The instructor clapped. "Great! Now we're going to move on to ground work. You two, please demonstrate tatae-shio gatame." This, for those not associated with Judo, is a hold-down when one person lies on top of another, legs wrapped around their legs, and holding their arm across their face.

Needless to say, Wufei was not amused. He fled, swearing to never try Judo again. Duo stayed to try and learn something... interesting.


	70. Matchmaker XII: Push in the Up Direction

**Operation: Matchmaker XII: Push in the Up Direction**

The day of Wufei's first date had arrived. They had ensured him not running away by dropping him off in front of a club and abandoning him. Muttering about idiots in cars, Wufei stomped into the club, intending to get a ride home or call a cab, when he ran into...

Treize looked down at him in surprise. "I didn't think you'd show up."

Snarling, Wufei pulled out... a knife. The others had made him leave his sword at home.

Smirking, Treize pulled out an actual sword. Somehow, he'd managed to smuggle it in past ten bouncers, two metal detectors, and one fluffy bunny. Yes, a fluffy bunny. Hey, it had handcuffs!

Anyway, Wufei looked disbelievingly at said sword. "Injustice!"

"Oh yes, very much justice... Shall we leave?"

They both walked outside, where Duo and Quatre were hiding in the bushes. Heero and Trowa, communicating by means of walkie-talkies mentioned in the first chapter of this fic, were on rooftops within viewing distance, all of them waiting to see what would happen.

To Wufei's relief, Treize threw his sword away and pulled out a knife as well. "Shall we?"

The fight soon began. Duo grinned at Quatre. "Treize's knife is longer."

"Yeah, but Wufei knows how to use his better. Treize is used to using something larger than his knife."

"That's because Treize usually has alternate equipment."

"So does Wufei."

"Stop talking," Heero ordered, and they obediently fell silent.

Finally, the fight was over, and they emerged to escort Wufei home.

"He had ya there, Fluffei!" Duo shouted, patting him on the back. "But why the hell should that matter, ya looked like you were havin fun!"

"I was not having fun! Don't ever do that again!" The others exchanged nods – there was no need for Wufei and Treize to go on another date – not just yet, anyway.


	71. Operation: Halo

**Operation: Halo**

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"What are you two arguing about?" Trowa asked.

Duo turned to him. "Don't you think Quatre looks like an angel?"

"No I do not!"

"Yes you do, Quatre," Trowa agreed.

Quatre scowled at him. "No!"

"Let's prove it," Duo suggested.

Five minutes later, they shoved Quatre outside wearing a white robe of the style normally worn by angels. The sun shone on his hair, making it glow. People stopped, stared, and bowed. A slightly dazed Quatre was pushed back inside, where Trowa and Duo exchanged smirks – or rather, smirk and slight mouth twitch. "Told you so," they chorused.


	72. Operation: Cross

**Operation: Cross**

**A/N: **Thank-you to sparkley-tangerine for the next three story ideas!

It is a well-known fact that Duo normally dresses as a priest. No matter how impractical this is, or how ridiculous it makes him look, or how hot the weather is, he always wears that same set of clothes. Many people may think that he has no other clothes, but do you really think that someone like Duo wouldn't have at least one spare set of clothes on him? Now, we are going to determine the truth behind this mysterious dress-up game...

Far back in the mists of time, a small kid with long hair lived in a church. He wasn't overly well-behaved, so he was repeatedly told to 'be like Jesus'. One day, this small child looked up at the adult and asked "Isn't he that guy on the cross?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Cause he died. I don't wanna be like Jesus."

"Then be like his priests, then."

"Those guys that wear black?"

"Yes"

And so, Duo Maxwell started wearing black.


	73. Operation: Hair Brush

**Operation: Hair Brush**

Yes, another random study. This time, we are going to attempt an introduction of the pilots' hair to a hairbrush. It might get a little messy...

Wufei's hair: Hairbrush goes through easily the first time, then hair decides to strike back with a sword. Hairbrush gets chopped to pieces.

Quatre's hair: Easy introduction. Hair and hairbrush arrange to get together and have tea later.

Trowa's hair: Once hair has expended all projectile spikes, they get along quite well.

Duo's hair: Braid appears to be boa constrictor. On second attempt, end of braid removes top of hairbrush. How did he get razors into that thing?

Heero's hair: Hair attempts self-destruction if brush gets too close. Attempt not repeated.

In closing, you cannot trust the hair.


	74. Operation: Pirate Day

**Operation: Pirate Day**

It was a boring day. It was such a boring day that the pilots, including Heero, were sitting in the living room, being bored. For some reason, though, Duo wasn't bored! No, he bounced into the living room, grinning his head off. His braid weighed it down, though, so it wouldn't fall off his neck, but it was precariously balanced at times. "Yo, me hearties!"

This is pretty much normal language from Duo, so the others didn't comment, until they noticed what he was wearing. He had a fancy coat and hat on, as well as boots, instead of his usual outfit. This wasn't what surprised them most, though. He also had a parrot on his shoulder. A very large, live parrot. It squawked at them.

Quatre looked at him strangely, and if Quatre's looking at Duo strangely, you know it has to be something very strange indeed. "Duo, what's with the outfit?"

"It's pirate day! Yo! Y'all hafta dress as a pirate, me hearties!" He twirled a false moustache, and poked his parrot, which squawked again.

Surprisingly, it was Trowa, king of silence, who asked the next question. "Why?"

"Because it's fun!" Duo bounced, poking the parrot again. It squawked again, and he glared at it. "C'mon, say it!"

The parrot sighed. "Shinigami is back from hell and off to sail the seven seas."

Everyone except Duo stared at the parrot. Duo nodded happily. "Pirates, me hearties!"

Wufei rolled his eyes, Quatre sighed, Trowa was his usual silent self, and Heero frowned. "No pets allowed," he said, throwing the parrot out the window.

Quatre, much to Trowa's annoyance, glomped himself onto Heero. "Thank-you for saving us!"

Duo pouted. "But I wanted a parrot..."


	75. Operation: More Than One Way

**Operation: More Than One Way...**

Duo heard a noise down the corridor. People were shouting. Curious, he walked in, to find... Trowa and Quatre having an argument? What was the world coming to?

"Caesar dressing is better!"

"Mayonnaise." From the exasperated looks on their faces, this had been going on for some time.

Duo sighed. "What are you arguing about, anyway?" From the huge blush that immediately appeared on Quatre's face, he guessed. "That, huh? Well, there's more than one way to skin a Quat." Trowa glared at him, Quatre paled, and Duo made his escape, chuckling gleefully.

There were no night-time noises from their room for the next week.


	76. Matchmaker XIII: Bridge Burning

**Operation: Matchmaker XIII: Bridge Burning**

Once again, Wufei was dragged out to meet a mate-to-be. This time, they delivered him to the park, as this was probably where they would end up anyway, and attempted to dump him there. Attempted because Zechs showed up just before they left.

Heero glared at Zechs. Zechs glared at Heero. Wufei stood there looking bewildered, but stepped aside, as it was obvious that the only reason Zechs had ended up coming was to see Heero again.

Duo had, mercifully, had the foresight to remove any weapons from Heero before their departure. Zechs soon decided it would be unfair to beat Heero when he was unarmed, and so they settled down to a heated game of rock-paper-scissors, with everyone else looking on amusedly.


	77. Operation: Cheesecake

**Operation: Cheesecake**

"Time to go out! Time to go out!"

"Out for what?" Wufei asked Duo curiously. Duo bounced gleefully on the spot, but allowed Quatre to answer the question.

"Dinner. He wanted to go to a fast food restaurant, but I convinced him to go to a proper restaurant."

Wufei, Trowa and Heero breathed sighs of relief. Duo glared at them. "Come on, let's go!"

Quatre helped drag everyone else out into the car. It didn't take long for them to arrive at their destination – a small building what advertised ribs. Once inside, Duo spotted a blackboard advertising triple chocolate cheesecake. He immediately decided to have it for dessert.

Their meals began with bread-in-a-cup. After that, they ordered a variety of stuff – Duo himself consuming a bowl of soup, a salad, a large steak, baked potato, vegetables, fries, and five glasses of cola. Finally, with everyone else staring at him incredulously, he ordered the triple chocolate cheesecake.

It was big. It was chocolatey. It had at least five kinds of chocolate sauce poured over it. And a chocolate base. Duo was ecstatic. And somehow, though he made everyone feel sick by doing so, he managed to eat it all.


End file.
